Stories Of Your Failures When Trying To Get Some

Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Drunk as a 14 yr old and trying to grope the tits of a bird I knew before being sick on myself and having to be collected by my dad to whom I uttered the words "carry me daddy". This always gets a good laugh when its brought up at Christmas.

Young teenager. Chasing a girl for ages, finally get in there and we arrange to hang out at mine

Me: "By the way my parents are decorating so we'll have to hang out in my room"

Her: "Oh right, well I don't wanna get in the way. Lets just go bowling"

I think one of my worst is when I was about 17 on a night out, bumped into a girl that I did a few weeks before. It all ended pretty nasty because she claimed to be pregnant (I didn't wrap up as I had no johnnys, she didn't complain). Anyway, we were getting on in the club but it didn't lead to anything. By the end of the night, I had not seen any action and as I'd known this girl from a young age, I knew where she lived and I knew that she'd be walking home... So I took it upon myself to pretend to be sleeping on the streets on her route home in the vain hope that she'd see me, feel sorry for me and then sleep with me. Instead what actually happened was that she walked back with her friends... They saw me, laughed at me and then mocked me.

Then to top it off, I had to walk 6 miles home.


  1. ds said...:

    Haha that last one. :D Well you can't win every time.

  1. Pentele said...:

    I know the feeling man.

  1. Haven't had this issue, been with my girlfriend for 4 years.

  1. Shit happens right :p

  1. Stare Dad said...:

    that feels bad lol

  1. That last one was pretty epic, both in ingenuity and desperation.

  1. that's pretty funny man

  1. AP0976 said...:

    Damn, thats funny and bad at the same time

  1. Skeng said...:

    Damn you're unlucky mate. I've been in the drunk situation where I've had to call my dad to come get me though so I can sympathize lol.
    The bowling thing and the last one were painful to read, I feel for you haha

  1. -E- said...:

    i notice no one else is time i went to new york with this girl i had been chasing. she was starting to warm up to me by our last night there and i had my big move all planned out. but i got caught hopping the subway turnstiles that day and had to spend the night in jail. never did hook up with her.

  1. hoaks2 said...:

    Nice. I don't have one where I get caught. But, I did get my future father in-law to brandish a shotgun at me. It was fantastic.

  1. John said...:

    Without risk there is no reward. Unfortunately this time your plan failed :( Lol.

  1. HiFi said...:

    6 miles man, next time, offer to walk her home, then hit on her friends. :)

  1. You could always just invent an app that geo-locates you (on your phone) and announce to other geo-located people your desire to copulate.

  1. Daan said...:

    Hahaha nice fail

  1. Pretend to be homeless in the hope she'd sleep with you?

    You're either a genius or a madman. I love it.

  1. Damn that sucks, you gotta be witty to get that titty!

  1. Anonymous said...:

    That was bad luck :P

  1. aw, that's too bad haha

  1. Nick said...:

    Better to have tried and failed than...well, I don't know. Probably would have been better just to have stayed home.

  1. Scrogglez said...:

    me - hey baby lets go get naked and mess around
    wife - no im not easy
    me - whyyy!!!!

  1. Mr. Dough said...:

    The last one was priceless. A very cunning idea, would've probably worked.

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