Regale me with awkward experiences with your mate's bird

Sunday, 10 April 2011
All round my mate's house. Me, my mate (who's house it was), then  another mate and his girlfriend. So we're all watching footy, playing Fifa, the usual. All of a sudden, the TV goes off. We're wondering what the fuck is happening. She grabbed the remote and turned it off because she wanted to watch Eastenders

We all told her to get to fuck. She then starts having a moan saying that her boyfriend said 'we werent just going to be playing Fifa and CoD'

After a massive fight she turns on his computer, loads up BBC Iplayer and starts watching Eastenders.Why she invites herself over I have no idea.

Same couple about a year ago, house party at the boyfriends house but the evening was ending, my mate had gone to bed and the gf was messing around with the hamster in the kitchen when the dog came in, anyway before anyone managed to get rid of the dog he had a swipe at the hamster, didnt look like he got him but i snatched the hamster bellowing "who let the fucking dog in ?!?!" Before it rather unceremoniously farted its last breath. Motionless in my hand I looked at the gf, who naturally burst into tears.....for about an hour.....Trying to fucking sing it back to life

                                                                             credit card
                                                 loans                              cancer
I stopped hanging round with them after a while, he fell out with a few of my mates over other things so regressed into his own world with her. Thankfully they split though and he has returned to being a fairly decent fellow.


  1. Man I hate when crap like this happens. People don't know how to balance their lives.

  1. Jim said...:

    Awkward situations there, girls can change a guy like nothing.

  1. Intraman said...:

    Oh man I sometimes seriously hate women. My roommate's girlfriend's also a bitch. The two of us are filthy slobs, but she won't come over when our place isn't clean. Now I always have to clean my shit up or my roommate will start bitching because he's gonna be able to get laid. She's also a fucking bore who never drank beer in her life and refuses to eat fast food.

  1. People are just f-up man I hate drama I got it going on at work right now. People need to get a life

  1. That sounds like one shitty GF, women...

  1. John said...:

    Wow, what a girlfriend.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    wow she didn't sound like she had any consideration for other people. Causing drama for no reason, glad your friend got his !@#$ straight :D

  1. -E- said...:

    yeah one of my mates has been captured by a she-devil like this too.

  1. Moob said...:

    glad it all sort of turned out in the end

  1. Mike G said...:

    WTF. Someone needs new roomies :D I couldn't stand that. I live with my girlfriend of three years, and we don't pull this crap. Good luck, mate.

  1. ds said...:

    That guy should take a look at her gf and see what she's all about.

  1. Xuian said...:

    everyone has a friend who is somehow in a hopelessly infatuated relationship with someone. it always ends and they've wasted 1-2 years of their lives

  1. Body1 said...:

    Nice BLOG Man!!!

    Fallowing and $upporting

  1. make it all men and I'm in

  1. aw what a bitch, excuse my language

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Nice to hear that he's now a good fellow.

  1. Just not cool. Who ever is in control of the TV, stays in control - until it's unused. That tends to stop all arguments lol. Following!

  1. krisuss said...:

    Glad to hear hes decent nowadays :)

  1. John said...:

    Sucks when I guy forgets his friends when he gets lost in a girl.

  1. Canon said...:

    She sounds like a handful :S Good thing everything is back to normal

  1. POP! said...:

    lol complaining never does anyone any good

  1. Man some people are overly controlling. If they don't make you feel good they shouldn't have a place in your life.

  1. Bulwyf said...:

    yeah.. retards everywhere.

  1. Zakey said...:

    sucks to be him haha

  1. Mike said...:

    That's disrespectful and I wouldn't stand for it.

  1. Janez said...:

    Shit happens go on...

  1. What an annoying girl.

  1. Yeah stories like that already happened me all the time

  1. NHM said...:

    yeeeah, hate such awkward situations, they drive me crazy

  1. MrBunni said...:

    Some of my friends have girlfriends that act like a Succubus. You never see them again and basicly lose all contact. So i'm not sure what's better. Never see your friends, or see them with their evil girlfriends.

  1. Jay said...:

    you can't really call them friends then. :|

  1. Glovey said...:

    Great work! I love the blog style!

  1. DVNO said...:

    I would also like to know how women work..

    btw, great blog, following :]

  1. That really sounds like a , euhm, a bitch :p
    I hate it when girls think they own their boyfriend

  1. blaack said...:

    Was that bitch hot?

  1. Alex said...:

    Ahh thats too bad.

  1. Corridor said...:

    wow. that must be suck.

  1. women and their unholy powers of corruption man. here's one for ya.
    took a trip with a family friend. older guy bout 45 at the time. he is a trucker and needed help delivering a load to maryland. i take a few days off work to help out since he offered to pay me pretty well anyways. we get out there and a snowstorm locks us down for a day and a half. well that night were all at a tiny little diner somewhere in between ohio and maryland with about ten other truckers in the same sort of predicament since the roads are closed. they are all hitting on the sorta cute waitress all night. vulgar stuff too, nothing that actually would work and i just stayed quiet cause more than anything she was a bit older than me even if kinda cute. end of the night when we are all starting to head back to our cabs she lays a slip of paper in front of me and where everyone else can see it. they all start making jabs and jokes at my expense calling me loverboy and the like. whatever. the paper has her number and what time she gets off on it and says "call me" well i've nothing better to do so once her shift is over i ring her up. tell her where i am and she comes to pick me up in a newer Audi which surprises me since she is only a waitress but i dont think much more of it. she says she cant stay up tonight cause she has an early shift the next day but that i could stay the night at her place instead of the truck cab and get a shower and such in the morning and she would make me breakfast. sounds great to me. next morning im awakened by her on top of me. turns out i was breakfast. a good time and i actually learned a bit lol. older ladies eh? anyways afterward she says she'll make real breakfast while im in the shower. sure enough before i even dry off my stomach is roaring at the smell of bacon and eggs drifting through her house. i come to the kitchen and sit down where she serves me a plate and as i start eating a guy walks into my view from the side. i look at him. he is perhaps a year or two younger than me. she says oh this is my son. we exchange awkward hellos... silence for the next half hour. the whole time i'm trying to think about the fact that i just banged the guys mom and im his age. i asked about the car on the way back to the truck cab. she decides to spill the whole story. about a year ago her husband (a semi wealthy plant manager) started banging his secretary not much older than myself. she used to be a stay at home wife (explaining her artificial youthful appearance) and when she found out she divorced obviously and managed to get the car and a modest settlement but not much more. her son knew about it the whole time but never said a word to her because he didn't want to be involved. he was visiting for the weekend and she felt it was a good opportunity to show him she could do the same and he couldn't say shit to her about it. she finished by saying "hey kid sorry i used you but it was fun right? call me if your ever in town again" i stood awestruck in the cold for about 5 minutes. got in the cab and when asked if i was ready to go all i said was "yep" lol never told my frineds about it cause hey who would believe that shit. so take it or leave it but thats my story lol

  1. sorry to hear about your friend

  1. Robert said...:

    Pour hamster:( "trying to fucking sing it back to life", hahahaha what a phrase!

  1. C Mo Gunz said...:

    sweet post, good story i enjoyed reading it

  1. Insider33 said...:

    Girls like that anger me :/.

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