What is the worst thing you've ever done to another human?

Sunday, 29 May 2011
Sent a girl I knew at Uni a present for her birthday party. Knew she'd open it at the party.

It was a "pass the parcel" style present, wrapped in about 8 layers of wrapping paper. There were rumours she was a lesbian and she was really aggressive, and had cock blocked me in 1st year, stopping me from getting with an incredibly hot French/Swedish girl I was infatuated with, just because she fancied her (I think), and started spreading malicious rumours about me (that I had tried to get in to their student house when they were all asleep)

Watched as her fat dungareed face shone with delight as she unravelled each layer of wrapping paper, shrieking with excitement as she delved deeper and deeper into the pile of multi coloured delights.

The very last layer was wrapped in pictures of attractive women/celebrities cut from Heat/Hello magazine, which she laughed her portly, red gob off over, then she unwrapped it to reveal the coup de grace.

A piece of card with the words "FAT LEZZER" written on it in tampons stuck on with super glue)

I felt bad the moment she started WAILING, and I do mean wailing, right in the middle of her party. She made everyone go home. We all carried on to the pub and had a great night without her.

I'm not even sorry