I hope you had a better night than me

Thursday, 24 March 2011
It was pissing rain last night so my 5 a-side football match was canceled. With nothing to do me and a friend went to see the film Battle: Los Angeles

Utter abortion of a film - I can't believe nobody realised just how shit it was while they were making it. It had absolutely nothing going for it apart from how laughably terrible it is. Horrific script that was probably just copied and pasted from other disaster films and a narrative that was so untidy you wonder how they stumbled to the "conclusion" they did.

You know how this movie ends before you even buy your ticket, but I won't give it away. All I will say is there's a moment in the movie where it should end (all of the pointless, retarded narrative threads have a possible chance of being tied up at this point) but the director clearly found some money in a drawer somewhere and decided some more shit needed blowing up. So he adds another 45 minutes to this bloated joke of a film.

I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane, but I at least wanted Deep Impact. Truly shocking. 2/10

So I get home at around 11pm and see that The Happening is about to start. Now I had never seen The Happening before but I'd heard how bad is was meant to be, having seen one terrible film I thought what the hell how could this be any worse..........

The worst films I have ever seen, and I've seen Torque. Dialogue was terrible, so many characters who drifted in and out of the story while adding absolutely nothing to it and as for the main characters. This was my face while watching it:

I honestly can't work out what M. Night Shamalamalamalan was trying to do with it. It felt as though he was making a ham-fisted "nature is all-powerful and will beat man when it wants to". What a thunderingly shit film. 

1/10 that one point is because you get to look at Zooey Deschanel.

After last night I am truly losing the will to live.


  1. His movies keep getting worse, I can't believe it =\

  1. Janez said...:

    I heard Battle of LA is really crappy also so after reading yet another bad review im deffenetly not watching the movie thanks /followed

  1. I knew Battle LA was going to be crap...and I have yet to see The Happening. And from the looks of it, it will only be out of spite.

  1. Every Day said...:

    there are tons of crappy movies recently. someone needs to get fired.

  1. Patti D. said...:

    lol, haven't seen World Invasion, but the happening is really bad, I agree.

  1. I've heard mixed on Battle LA, but everyone agrees that Happening is crap.

  1. Patres said...:

    Thanks for the warnings!
    And yeah everything with Zooey can't be totally bad.

  1. Arcita said...:

    that sucks. it's supposed to snow over here soon i think. rained all day today

  1. Kaneda said...:

    Come on man I was really looking forward to Battle LA :/
    But I thought the Happening was pretty good, so maybe I will like it anyway.

  1. DylanF said...:

    I'll be making sure to dodge that film. Thanks for the heads up.

  1. Shoeby said...:

    LOL I had a feeling that Battle LA would be crap. And as for the happening M. Night is just a one hit wonder... LOL

  1. Oscar said...:

    Great review, Night really needs to stop making movies.

  1. HJohnson said...:

    The movie itself wasn't that good but it made for a decent night with the guys.

  1. Daily01 said...:

    bad movie. just like all the comments above say. Nice blog tho, im following.

  1. Marky Mark looks a little derp in that pic...

  1. Thanks for the review, won't be wasting my money on that movie!

  1. amBored said...:

    that face :D thx for tip

  1. Xuian said...:

    come on now, the only reason to even see battle la is m-rod and because she's so bad. she's also the same character in every film she's in. my friends and i went to see it to laugh

  1. Anonymous said...:

    We all realize it! that why it has like 5/10 or less on rotten tomatoes and imbd. Really disappointing film.

  1. Ambi said...:

    Thanks for the reviews, now i know what i'm not going to watch

  1. haha thanks for sharing :D

  1. Damn, that's a bummer. I kinda wanted to see Battle LA, too. Figures. I was hyped to see Tron for over a couple years since I heard it was coming out, only to leave the theatre thinking the story-line blew. :(

  1. -E- said...:

    go see drive angry. it's so bad it will cheer you up.

  1. the happening was the worst film ive seen this year.

    but still not as bad as mac and me

  1. Zed said...:

    There has been a distinct lack of decent films recently

  1. Dazza said...:

    yeah I watched this the other day too... it was more boring than a typical uni lecture

  1. Insider33 said...:

    I have never enjoyed a Mark Wahlberg movie. Truth to be told I haven't seen his best ones.

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