Facts that you have learnt through your own stupidity

Thursday 31 March 2011
Throughout time man has discovered, and evolved upon the shoulders of stupid people. What fruits and seeds are poisonous, whether you can wrestle a shark, and that sticking your penis in a hoover doesn't really simulate a good romp.

So post what you have learnt through your own acts of idiocy, forgetfulness and general will to explore the boundaries of man, nature and the universe.

Here's a few of my own:

1) Putting arm bands on your ankles when you are 7 and jumping into the pool will result in you nearly drowning and needing to be saved by the lifeguard

2) Don't wash the u-bend out in the sink you are unblocking.

3) You may like bacon, and you may like curry, but you will NOT like bacon curry.

4) That if a mouse somehow manages to get in the tubing of your washing machine, turning it on may be one way of lazily resolving the problem. However, after going away for a few days and returning to the house, your entire kitchen may be infested with about 200 flies, and replacing the food and having to bleach the entire place, cutlery etc may cost more than a mousetrap. You'll also feel amazingly guilty at your method of vermicide

5) Holding your mouth shut so you dont puke means it just comes out your nose

40 comments:

  1. Hmmmm probably, if i'm not happy i'm not going to be happy in a relationship.

  1. Killerko said...:

    hello there, just found your blog.. i love your title pic you have up there! beautiful!

  1. Green Bus said...:

    Palm tree leafs are very hard on the beginning. Do not ever try to run with your bicycle over it thinking it's soft and will crease. Your balls will be totally smashed if you're standing up while doing it and you'll be crying for over 5 minutes of pure ball pain.

  1. Patres said...:

    I loved #5.

    Hummmm.
    Don't get into a long distance relationship, specially with someone who's bipolar.

    Trim the hair around your dog's butthole, or else you'll find yourself cleaning shit stuck there.

  1. THRASHER said...:

    i so want to try bacon curry. why don't you like it?

  1. I would like to say that I have tried to complete number five, and have failed miserably.

  1. i fancy trying bacon curry

  1. Holding your breathe while scuba diving is a horribly bad idea. Keep this in mind if you ever take the dive!

  1. HAHA that was simply and epic list. got some stories like those myself :P great stuff man!

  1. HaigoR said...:

    I'm hearing about this bacon curry u speak of for the first time. Gonna research this bad boy up now to get a recipe. Probably just bacon and curry powder mixed together. Here's something i've learned from my stupidity over the years:

    having a roman candle fight is fun and all, but that stuff really burns. You can set your clothes on fire, so aim before u shoot =D

  1. NHM said...:

    made me laugh, but this is soooo true!

  1. i have alot of these, you might as well call me george costanza.

  1. Bacon curry sounds... just awful.

  1. -E- said...:

    shocking tale about the mouse...just shocking

  1. Erik said...:

    6) Something may look very easy while drunk, don't do it
    awesome post :) you had me laughing at #5!

  1. haha i learned #5 as well :3

  1. funny blog :) ~followed~

  1. Hahahahahahaha. I've done number 5 numerous times...I'll never learn that one though...I just keep telling myself, "I can hold it...I can hold it..."

  1. Stevo said...:

    I just remembered my 21st with number 5!! :L

  1. JUju said...:

    lol had a couple of those happen to me.

  1. # happens all the time, especially when drunk.

  1. JuX said...:

    Lol. Curry bacon. I havnt tried any of these things. At least i dont remember. Maybe i blocked them out of my mind.

  1. the bacon curry made me chuckle too!

    nice post danny, keep it up!

  1. curry bacon sounds surprisingly good right now...

  1. Xuian said...:

    hahah puke out your nose, thankfully i've never done that ) I do see it in cartoons a lot though

  1. Nick said...:

    And vomit in the nose is one of the worst things in the world.

  1. Daan said...:

    lol thats actually true

  1. psyke said...:

    Now I have to try bacon curry

  1. Mike said...:

    That you really can get sick if you party to hard, get very little sleep, and laugh at the cold. I'm a slow learner

    Check out Lifehack's guide to making a hollow book Out Now!

  1. Number 5 sounds quite familiar

  1. Kingmush said...:

    haha some of those were pretty funny, great post.

  1. If I'm puking hard, I tend to puke out my nose regardless. d:

    brb, going to try bacon curry and possibly puke out my nose..

  1. SOMS said...:

    lol you puked out of your nose :D:D i learned playing with a stapler might result in painful scenarios

  1. Michael said...:

    "And vomit in the nose is one of the worst things in the world." Whaaaat? :D

  1. Waywardly said...:

    Bacon Curry?! That sounds just plain epic. I wish I had some right now.

  1. I'm truly inspired by your blog! Great to read once again. Keep this up!

    - Pappa Püllï

  1. Ill said...:

    nice stuff. lotta good advice

  1. Sticking tweezers into an electric socket is not a good idea

  1. Janez said...:

    Nimber 4 cracked me up xD

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