Facts that you have learnt through your own stupidity

Throughout time man has discovered, and evolved upon the shoulders of stupid people. What fruits and seeds are poisonous, whether you can wrestle a shark, and that sticking your penis in a hoover doesn't really simulate a good romp.

So post what you have learnt through your own acts of idiocy, forgetfulness and general will to explore the boundaries of man, nature and the universe.

Here's a few of my own:

1) Putting arm bands on your ankles when you are 7 and jumping into the pool will result in you nearly drowning and needing to be saved by the lifeguard

2) Don't wash the u-bend out in the sink you are unblocking.

3) You may like bacon, and you may like curry, but you will NOT like bacon curry.

4) That if a mouse somehow manages to get in the tubing of your washing machine, turning it on may be one way of lazily resolving the problem. However, after going away for a few days and returning to the house, your entire kitchen may be infested with about 200 flies, and replacing the food and having to bleach the entire place, cutlery etc may cost more than a mousetrap. You'll also feel amazingly guilty at your method of vermicide

5) Holding your mouth shut so you dont puke means it just comes out your nose