Moments Of Culinary Shame

Thursday, 5 May 2011
Got home one night with a extreme case of the munchies. My fat roommate had eaten us out of house and home. All that was left was a tin of corned beef.

Went to open it and saw that the key was missing. Tried to use a carving knife to cut the end off, failed miserably, knife slipped off the tin and sliced my finger open. Undeterred I dressed my gaping bloody wound with a bus ticket and continued to eat the corned beef by forcing a single chopstick into the small hole I had managed to make and eating what I could scrape out on the end of the chopstick.

Another night I really had bad munchies.

All I had was half a cabbage. I ate it all.

The worst thing was that after I'd finished I took a swig of cola and my mouth felt like it was exploding with hot sharp knives.


  1. Dave said...:

    Using a carving knife is a big no no.

  1. Ozzy said...:

    God damn your fat roommate.

  1. Skeng said...:

    Dude were you drunk when you did that?

    That's terrible lol

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Oh dude - I feel for you. I know how it is when you live with roommates.
    And the coke thing... You shouldn't have done it :D

  1. ds said...:

    Haha. :D I know the feeling when you are hungry and these's nothing good to eat. You just have to make do with what you got.

  1. dang, you need to buy more food :)


  1. Fortune said...:

    What the hell man, what the hell

  1. Don't you just hate it, when you have munchies and don't have anything to eat. There is a good chance, that you will find yourself eating raw macaroni.

  1. Wow... that's terrible!!

  1. I'm just glad I still have Easter candy. Tastes amazing.

  1. -E- said...:

    you don't have a can opener?! crazy kids these days.

  1. ReMs said...:

    what hunger makes us do :)

  1. Dav0h said...:

    If I were you, I would have beat your roommate senseless for doing that! Roommate common courtesy = leave at least one severing for the other roommate

  1. you were probably high werent you

  1. Gotta ask what was the cabbage like?

  1. Intraman said...:

    ahaha that story with the canned beef and the chopstick was great

  1. sometimes you just gotta grab what's available

  1. Dootzkie said...:

    Munchies... And you are surprised at the outcome...

  1. Matt said...:

    You snooze... you lose!

  1. Zach said...:

    That's pretty bad xD

  1. Maggie said...:

    ouch hope your finger is better! what you need a a girl to make you some food ;)

  1. Man I can't stop laughing! xD

    I imagine the look of drunken pride as you get your first chopstick scraping of corned beef... elegance.

  1. Mike said...:

    That sucks. I hope you're alright.

  1. lasewun said...:

    Mate, go to the shops ahaha

  1. I've accidentally cut my finger while trying to open a can aswell

  1. Alphabeta said...:

    Desperate stuff altogether.
    You need a secret stash for future episodes.

  1. Alphalpha said...:

    Corned beef? Worth it.

  1. Alexandra said...:

    Ouch! Hope that finger of yours is OK!! Dont use a knife next time mister ;-)

  1. Triper said...:

    Heheh not so good my friend, but i like it anyway :)

  1. XD I have definitely been there!

  1. Hannah said...:

    I think once during a particularly bad case of munchies i had pizza dipped in peanut butter... just...don't ask.

  1. Kingmush said...:

    Have done that before D: Not pleasant.

  1. I've had munchies before... And I try to eat things like beans or vegetables or soup... Fills good and has no fat downsides...

  1. logo mess said...:

    ouch, hope you get well. be patient ;)

  1. This is why you have a secret stash! For when you get those cravings, or stoned off your ass.

  1. Al3xaG said...:

    Oh munchies! probly so high that you didn't even feel the wound.

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