Moments Of Culinary Shame

Got home one night with a extreme case of the munchies. My fat roommate had eaten us out of house and home. All that was left was a tin of corned beef.

Went to open it and saw that the key was missing. Tried to use a carving knife to cut the end off, failed miserably, knife slipped off the tin and sliced my finger open. Undeterred I dressed my gaping bloody wound with a bus ticket and continued to eat the corned beef by forcing a single chopstick into the small hole I had managed to make and eating what I could scrape out on the end of the chopstick.



Another night I really had bad munchies.

All I had was half a cabbage. I ate it all.

The worst thing was that after I'd finished I took a swig of cola and my mouth felt like it was exploding with hot sharp knives.