Sent a girl I knew at Uni a present for her birthday party. Knew she'd open it at the party.
It was a "pass the parcel" style present, wrapped in about 8 layers of wrapping paper. There were rumours she was a lesbian and she was really aggressive, and had cock blocked me in 1st year, stopping me from getting with an incredibly hot French/Swedish girl I was infatuated with, just because she fancied her (I think), and started spreading malicious rumours about me (that I had tried to get in to their student house when they were all asleep)
Watched as her fat dungareed face shone with delight as she unravelled each layer of wrapping paper, shrieking with excitement as she delved deeper and deeper into the pile of multi coloured delights.
The very last layer was wrapped in pictures of attractive women/celebrities cut from Heat/Hello magazine, which she laughed her portly, red gob off over, then she unwrapped it to reveal the coup de grace.
A piece of card with the words "FAT LEZZER" written on it in tampons stuck on with super glue)
I felt bad the moment she started WAILING, and I do mean wailing, right in the middle of her party. She made everyone go home. We all carried on to the pub and had a great night without her.
I'm not even sorry
17 comments:
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Thats a cracker lol. Sounds like she absolutely deserved all she got.
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I bitchslapped a friend of mine for the sake of laughing, then I started to feel bad.
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I had my boyfriend read that, and now we are both tearing up in laughter. Ugh, there is this one chick I would love to do something like that too. She is chubby, fake blond hair (fake in personality too), a total bitch, and she joined the swim team at our high school just to get "in" with the popular girls using the excuse to "lose weight". Yeah, retard, Swimming BULKS you up, not TONES you down. So I hopefully I can shoot you some funny stories about her.
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cock-blockers deserve exactly what they get. i salute you sir.
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you are evil